BBQ MK II

2003-08-06T08:41:00.000-05:00

om gosh

I'm sitting here at my desk, getting bored, Aimee is getting ready for work (she works at as a leasing consultant at an apartment complex now), and i start looking at my old blogspot journal.

I havent posted int his think since late january, and soooo much has happened.

Aimee and i are coming up on our 1st anniversary, we've almost been living together for a year now. We're doing great, sure we have arguments like anyone else, but i dont think we've ever gotten into a screaming match.

i look back on what happened almost 1 year ago and i realize how much i've grown since then. It's really wierd..

Well Genroku totally fell through, i found out just recently that i have no chance of being hired there: 1. Because of my age and 2. because i'm not asian.
I know Hsian tried his hardest to get me in there, and now we are looking at other options, he's going to try to get me into a place called "The Green Room", we'll see how that unfolds.

So basically i've done nothing since january except school and play video games. I've got a little job as a personal trainer with one of my mother's friends, gets me 50 a week... better than nothing.

Aimee is great, i'm sure my posting this entry will result in her posting in her journal as well.

So hopefully i'll be going to culinary school in June/July, we'll see how that unfolds.

Aimee and i were planning on getting our own place within the year, but we decided to stick with my parents and aimee is going to go to school full time to finish her degree.

wow, not much more to say here, Please leave a comment to let me know you read this.

Thats it folks, see you again in another 6 months!

2003-01-25T16:21:00.000-06:00

hey, not much has happened since my last entry. Hopefully Aimee will be getting a job at Match.com here in a bit. Wal-mart cut her hours because of school and that just isnt going to work.

we're doing pretty good, just chillin out. hopefully i'll start genroku in early february, if not i guess i have a couple of things to fall back on.

its amazing how little i have to say

2002-12-19T12:01:00.001-06:00

I ate 3 racks of BBQ ribs last night at bennigans

2002-12-19T12:01:00.000-06:00

Which Battle Royale Character are You?
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2002-10-20T15:58:00.000-05:00

Post from BBQ??? Sometime late September:

the TRUE meaning of life
HI friends, i'm pretty sure nobody reads this nowadays but thats cool, its kinda nice just to type down how you feel.

I really hope i dont get sucked into a relationship any time soon. I can tell you that i am totally turned off to the idea of one with anybody. I cant see myself with anyone i've met in the past 9 months of my life. Maybe aimee. I dunno. At first i was just interested in having phone sex with her... it had been a while since i had ingaged in ANY kind of sexual activity with anyone so i guess i took what i could get ^^

I did like her toward the last part of what i guess you could call a "pseudo relationship". It was a bad idea to do anything but phonesex and light conversation in the first place. Nothing could come from us liking eachother and later what she thinks is love for me. We live 500 miles apart, she's not moving up here anytime soon, i'm definately not going down there? Why did i continue with it and let it go as far as it did between us? i really did like her. As much as i could like someone over the phone. I told her to give it a shot with lance. Why? i wanted them to succeed. I wanted her to have someone down there so i didnt have to be in a relationship. I still felt bad when they did. Why? i guess i really did like her? or maybe its that same old "OOH SOMEBODY LIKES YOU LETS GO FOR IT" reflex thats screwed me over so many times before. Why do i bother? i always have this inner feeling of "Do you really like this person or is it just you being desperate and lunging at the first person who likes you" its always in my head. I hate relationships. I should become a monk or somthing. Anyways, i doubt i'd go for aimee if she were down here now... after this.

I dont think i'll go to Gatti's

Response:
I am so glad that most of this was a lie!

We live 500 miles apart, she's not moving up here anytime soon, i'm definately not going down there?
I am so happy I get to be with him soon...

I am so happy that he is mine...
I am so happy that I am his...
I feel that this is so perfect...
I love you Aaron...
Words cannot express the way I feel for you. Only God and I know... but you are getting there. I hope I show you all that. If not I will soon... when I'm there with you.
I LOVE YOU...

2002-10-13T22:24:00.000-05:00

Lots of stuff has happened since my last entry

Aimee came to stay with me from saturday-thursday, so i got a little taste of what living with her would be like. It was pretty cool, i saw no real annoying habits, thats a good thing ^^

Cool stuff ensued, we went grocery shopping a couple times, went to dillards and kohls, went to VV, we just hung out most of the time.
I really think we grew closer in that week, i love her so much.

I saw her again yesterday and today down in killeen for geno's birthday party, that was a lot of fun. Ryan Kim and I drove down there saturday morning and arrived saturday afternoon. Hilarity insued. We decided to listen to every beatmania song in order from A-Z and see how far we would get(we got to about M when we arrived back in dallas). Hanging out with geno, ross, and the people from killeen and houston was a blast. We watched some GIRLS GONE WILD, BIKINI MED SCHOOL, and proceeded to consume alcohol.

Aimee and I cooked dinner, that was really fun, we made some chinese food.

The ride back went really fast, had to stop a couple times to buy energy drinks

Aimee decided to move to dallas in january, I'm pretty excited.... but i'm not getting my hopes up too high until she signs the lease for the apartment and such.

When Aimee left after that week, i felt empty inside... like a part of me was gone...... its really wierd, i've never felt like this before. I guess i really am in love with her.... never thought it would happen to me.

2002-10-03T21:47:00.000-05:00

Aimee came into town yesterday

I was really nervous for certain reasons ^^, thus my stomach was a little messed up today. We had fun.

I told my mom i have this feeling that is kinda LIKE nervousness and a little anxiety(kinda tight in my chest, but no feelings of anxiety) when i think about her. She said it was butterflies, i've never had that before ^^

I hope she comes up with matt and giselle next week, that would be cool.

I REALLY hope she moves up here, she said she was thinking about it.... all i've been thinking about all day is what it would be like if she did move up here....

Well all thats important is that what she does what she feels is right.

2002-09-30T01:05:00.000-05:00

Lance:

I think this is pretty much over and done with, i'm ready for it to be.

If you feel like saying somthing to me and getting these issues resolved, feel free to call me at 214-869-5647.

Both Lance and Aimee:

Hey guess what? NOBODY IS THE WINNAR!!!

2002-09-29T16:17:00.000-05:00

Yes this is Aimee on Aaron's blog...

The Winnar ish ME!!!!
Message for Lance...
Lance I love you... actually I learned to love you. I loved you like a friend before. I do like spending time with you. I do like your company. I do care about you. But Lance the fact of the matter is I LOVE AARON!!!
Before you, I talked to Aaron on the phone. I know I've told you this but I'm just reminding you. I really enjoyed his company over the phone. I found out pretty much everything that I needed to know in order to really start feeling something for him. I did start feeling something for him. But then you came along and I found out how you felt about me. The idea was exciting because I did like you before. Like I mean I tried to pursue you before. I felt a dark presence inside you. A void. I still feel that void.
I went out with you [and to see if that feeling I had before was still there] only because Aaron said go for it. All I had the first few weeks was heartache from you. You know that. You say that everythig that you have done to me me that I thought was fucked up was nothing. "Nothing!" BULLSHIT! When you didn't say anything to Coy's bro or whomever that was when he sexually harrassed me, that was a pretty fucked up thing!
Eddie: "Hi! How big are your boos? Lance says that they are huge. So how big are they? You know what? I have a big dick. It is about 7 inches long and 2 inch in gurth. I am married but my wife is pretty open about that shit!"
Lance: ...
Also what kind of shit is that when you ALMOST flash your penis to your girl friends? That's why you received bad karma! Look at that thingy in your damn pocket and you'll see that this shit was BAD FENG SHUI! BTW The reason behind why I flashed Shea... Aimee acting like Lance. XD
Lance: "I like being alone..."
Why the FUCK are you with me then in the first place? I've asked you that several times...
Lance don't get me wrong... I do love you... I learned to fall in love with you. But I am a firm believer that you should be with the person you really want to be with. I really want to be with Aaron. I've always wanted to be with Aaron. Unfortunately he's not here. That does not mean that I am still with you. I am not! I don't know when I could actually be with him, but I know that I am now very true to myself. If I have to be alone here because I can't be with him, so be it. Lance you say it yourself, you cannot live with this. THEN DON'T!
Lance even though I do love you, it's not enough because you are not who I want to be with. You know that thing you always say about "I like real people"... Aaron is real. He is real. I don't care about what you say.
About that little talk you guys had... I was right behind y'all. I was specifically behind Aaron stroking his back through the window. Eye contact? Neither did you!!!!!!! You are not the badass that you always think you are Lance. You are weaker than you think. I told everybody that I ~~do not want~~ REFUSE to go out with anyone that is SOOOOO weak!
Lance: "I am not trying to manipulate you!"
Aimee: "BULLSHIT!"
All you think about is Aimee is mine... no one else is allowed to have Aimee...
Lance... a big reason I went with you was to get over Aaron... and I told you that...
I know how I feel... never ever put words in my mouth about "Oh you don't love him, you just have certain feelings for him."
Lance...... when I get to the dorms you are going to read my lips... "I LOVE AARON!!!"

Aaron I love you... at first I thought that I was just "in love" with your phone and online personality. I thought that I was going to be very disappointed when I do see you. Was I? No... I was comfortable. I felt actually complete... Like I've been waiting for this and it finally came true.

Aaron: Mi corazon este contento por que te amo mucho mi amor.

2002-09-29T02:27:00.000-05:00

OH, DRAMA WAS UNFOLDED!

Walter got pissed a bunch i think, Lance and i had that talk, Aimee went nuts.

it was great.

Apparently i was too nice with Lance or somthing because i hear tell that he thinks i'm going to give up on on Aimee. hahaha fat chance.

Aimee and i spent like 3 hours just talking in JW's car... maybe kissed once or twice ^^
Oh yeah, Aimee and Lance broke up... Lance initiated it... but aimee didnt stop it.

I won 2nd place in the tournament because of ANDY ROSSETER FAGGOTRY.
Although my dreamcast smashing routine won crowd favorite and i got to win aimee this huge leeto AFRO-KEN plush doll... i just wanted to give her something.

2002-09-28T02:42:00.000-05:00

So Lance may not be at Attack The Gattis... i was almost looking forward to the drama that would unfold. But hey, the less drama the better.

2002-09-27T08:57:00.000-05:00

Aimee,

I'm so glad i'm not you right now. You're eventually going to have to pick between Lance and I..... and pick wether you'll stay in Houston or Dallas.... you're going to have to hurt one of us, and yourself. I just want you to know that whoever you pick.... wherever you pick... I'll still love you. I'll try my best to accept it, although i may not. I want you to do what you want to do. i love you.

2002-09-25T22:53:00.000-05:00

The past 29 hours have been the best i've had in a few years. I spent about 24 waking hours with Aimee and I learned somthing from it

I'm in love

I'm in love with Aimee

I'm in love with you Aimee

I kinda felt this way before she came to dallas, but after spending time with her i'm sure of it. I lied in my previous journal. When i said i wouldnt go for her even if she was in Dallas, i was lying. My mind contradicts itself sometimes... I wanted her to forget about me and just be with Lance... it would make it easier for me to forget about her. At the same time, my biggest fear was that she would stop loving me. Being around her makes me happier than i've been in a long, long time. I've never felt anything like this for a girl before.

My favorite part of her stay was this morning at about 8 am. We were on the patio of the hotel room That Matt, Giselle, Walter, and Aimee were sharing, Aimee was reading the paper and i was eating breakfast. It was probably my favorite part of the whole visit. Although I was pretty happy for pretty much the entire time. Just doing simple things like driving or eating with her i always had a smile.

Aimee, I want you to take Matt & Giselle's offer. I want be with you.